Struggling with anxiety/body issues

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Over the last few months, my anxiety has hit an all new level of bad. That awful mixture of cold sweats, heart racing, stomach churning… and when you can’t identify the cause of your anxiety, it’s awful. But it can be even worse when you can identify it – because then you obsess, you dwell, you pull conversations apart, you count calories. And it’s hard to rationalise anything.

My issues with food/body image is something I’ve only recently identified as an actual problem, something triggered by my anxiety and stress. I act cocky and confident, I pretend like I don’t care, I’m a selfie Queen, but really I care too much and it’s affecting my life. My recent health issues give me perfect excuses to limit my food intake, and I’m trying to get a grasp on that, but it’s so difficult.

I try to remind myself that I’m not alone, and that there are people out there who are supporting me, but sometimes it just doesn’t help. I can honestly say my only true relief at the moment is blogging, and the community that comes with it. I feel better reading about people who understand what it’s like. If I log onto Facebook, my anxiety is through the roof. I’m terrified. Everyone I know on there is just too close and that scares me.

But checking Twitter, Bloglovin’, WordPress… I have this instant sense of calm wash over me. Because I have people who really know what it’s like to have these awful feelings we sometimes can’t control, and they save me from my thoughts, almost every day.

There isn’t much of a point to this post. I’m just having a really bad anxiety day, my chest is tight and I’m trying not to panic over absolutely nothing.

It’s just a big thank you to the people who just get it. I really do love you.

2 Comments

  1. 30th April 2016 / 5:36 pm

    Hey Kayleigh!

    I do not suffer with Anxiety so cannot comment from that perspective but i have felt completely worthless and disgusting before now. I really hope that the blogging community gives you some relief from those awful thoughts in your head, which i imagine must be terrible. =)

    I’m new to your site but i love it and all the photos in it. You look amazing and I wish i had your legs! >.< I know with instagram twitter etc you can project whatever you want to the world and make out as though everything is fine when it isn't. It's ok to be vulnerable and to put your real-self out there although it's difficult and i can understand why you wouldn't want to, hell, sometimes I want t project an 'everything is fine' image to the world!

    Anyway i just wanted to let you know that I can in a small way relate to this post. So thank you for writing it.

    Love
    Sarah
    xoxoxoxo
    @sunshinesarahxo
    http://www.writingrambling.co.uk

    • 30th April 2016 / 5:42 pm

      I’m so glad you can relate, and thank you for commenting!
      You’re so right, it’s so easy to show only the perfect side of your life, but we need to see the reality sometimes!
      Thanks so much for reading it, it really means so much to me xxxx

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